Alan Patrick Herbert

“If the consideration of the House is to be confined to matters of sufficient importance to be worthy of its attention, its sessions will be very short.”

“A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.”

“People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.”

“A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.”

“Let's stop somebody from doing something.”

“The law is an ass.”

“Of all the nouns, 'love' is the most irregular.”

“It is the theory of the English law that a person who appears in a Court of Justice is in a state of nudity, and is clothed by the Court with such garments as it may please to provide.”

“Tea is a religion in our house.”

“As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be.”

“The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.”

“The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.”