Ben Elton

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”

“I have no doubt that we will be successful in harnessing the sun's energy... If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy centuries ago.”

“The first thing that is lost in a war is the truth.”

“Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-singing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.”

“The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“It's the same with all the silly little arguments the culture wars produce. It's not about the issue, it's about the tribe.”

“What is the point of being a writer if you can't say what you want?”

“I mean, the whole point of creating a character is to be able to say things you can't say in real life.”

“Satire is the last refuge of the powerless.”

“Why are we, as a nation, so obsessed with sex? It's not as if it's a recent invention.”

“The trouble with the world is that it's not nearly sensible enough.”

“I am not a Luddite. I am a human being.”