Fred Willard

“When you're a guest on a show, you're not a regular. You have to be on your best behavior.”

“I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.”

“I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the banana peel in the alley.'”

“If I'm not working, I'm not happy.”

“I have a lot of gay friends, and they're all through my life. I think they're some of the most sensitive, intelligent people.”

“I like to make the mundane fabulous.”

“Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”

“My theory is, if you can do comedy and you can be in a drama, you're a real actor.”

“The most important thing in a relationship is to be a good listener.”

“I think I'm the same in real life as I am on stage. I don't think I'm actually that wild.”

“I discovered at an early age that I could make people laugh.”

“I'm not a stand-up, but I've always been a pretty good ad-libber.”