Leslie Nielsen

“Yes, it's true, I've been to the hospital. And I can tell you that the food is not good there.”

“I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.”

“Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.”

“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.”

“Nice beaver!”

“It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.”

“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

“A hospital! What is it? It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.”

“I do have a perverted sense of humor.”

“There's a 50/50 chance of survival, but only a 10 percent chance of that.”

“Cigarette? Yes, I know.”

“Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith.”

“I’ve been in more than 100 films and 150 television shows, and I still don't know the first thing about acting.”

“Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.”

“It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!”

“There are some people who still don't get it. They think I'm just a serious actor who's lucky enough to be in a lot of funny movies.”

“Life is a zoo in a jungle.”