Paul Krassner

“A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere on the line.”

“The truth is funnier than fiction.”

“To be a satirist, you've got to be a moralist. You've got to have a sense of outrage.”

“Irreverence is our only sacred cow.”

“My function is to make the comfortable disturbed and the disturbed comfortable.”

“You can't have a sense of humor if you don't have a sense of horror.”

“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.”

“I'm just a stand-up comedian who is pretending to be a journalist.”

“The first amendment is not a suggestion.”

“If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.”

“A sense of humor is a sense of proportion.”

“Comedy is the last resort of the free mind.”

“Guilt is the glue that holds society together.”

“The future is a concept, it doesn't exist. There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be, because time is always now.”