Wit Quotes

“Is it a gift you can return?”

“To a stupid girl, a clever man is a bore; to a clever girl, a stupid man is a terror.”

“If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me.”

“I am told that I have a very difficult nature. I am not at all sure that I have not got the devil in me.”

“Wit is the unexpected juxtaposition of disparate ideas.”

“Round numbers are always false.”

“You look like a million dollars. Is that how much it cost?”

“I am resting my mind.”

“I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier.”

“He had the kind of face that, once seen, is never remembered.”

“I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.”

“No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.”

“Style is the art of getting away with it.”

“Madam, I have come from a country where people are hanged if they talk.”

“Epitaph for a dead waiter: 'God finally caught his eye.'”

“I always have a quotation for everything - it saves original thinking.”

“I'm used to that. I've been on a plane with you.”

“A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the freedom of a girl, the sadness of a dove, and the subtlety of a serpent.”

“He must intend to sleep there.”

“She has come out of her part like a knife from its sheath.”