Alexander Woollcott

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.”

“There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.”

“I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.”

“The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.”

“His huff arrived and he departed in it.”

“I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.”

“A slob is a person who puts a collar on a T-shirt.”

“At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.”

“Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.”

“I have no need for a daily paper, I am informed sufficiently by the obituaries.”