Dean Martin

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.”

“I can't stand an actor or actress who tells me acting is hard. It's ridiculous.”

“Motivation is a lot like taking a bath. You have to keep doing it every day.”

“In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody.”

“I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.”

“When your opponent is down, kick him.”

“I drink because my body needs fluid.”

“I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.”

“If people want to think I get drunk and fall out of bed, I'm willing to let them.”

“Sleep is for people who are broke.”