Jeff Foxworthy

“You might be a redneck if directions to your house include 'turn off the paved road.'”

“You might be a redneck if you think a stock tip is how to load your shotgun.”

“You might be a redneck if your home has more miles on it than your car.”

“You might be a redneck if you think a 'quarter horse' is a ride in front of K-Mart.”

“You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't fork.”

“You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.”

“You might be a redneck if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.”

“You might be a redneck if you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car.”

“You might be a redneck if you think 'loading the dishwasher' means getting your wife drunk.”

“You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.”

“You might be a redneck if you've ever been too drunk to fish.”

“You might be a redneck if you think the last words to The Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'”

“You might be a redneck if you've ever taken a beer to a job interview.”

“You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.”

“You might be a redneck if your Dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.”

“You might be a redneck if you've ever financed a tattoo.”

“You might be a redneck if you refer to the 5th grade as 'my senior year.'”

“You might be a redneck if you have a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't.”