Tim Allen

“To infinity... and beyond!”

“I have a lot of tools. I'm a tool man.”

“Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.”

“If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.”

“A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”

“Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.”

“The world's not perfect, but it's not that bad. If we were all committed to making it better, it'd be even better.”

“Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”

“My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.”