Tim Conway

“I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.”

“You can't be a legend in your own lifetime. It's not until you're dead that you can be a legend.”

“If I have a mission in life, it is to make people laugh.”

“Humor is the ability to see three sides of a coin.”

“I was never the class clown. I was the guy who would sit in the back and make a comment to the guy next to me that would make him laugh.”

“People don't want to see the old folks enjoying themselves. They want to see them miserable.”

“I don't have a computer. I don't know anything about that. I don't know what I'm missing. I just know that I'm not missing it.”

“You can't teach timing. It's a God-given thing.”

“The great thing about show business is that you can be unemployed and still be in it.”

“I don't think you can be a comic and be a mean person.”

“My favorite thing is to have a big dinner with friends and talk about life and politics and whatever.”