Don Rickles

“I kid you, Frank. I kid the ones I love.”

“When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.”

“I always rib people, but I don't mean anything by it.”

“Whatever you do, you've got to be a little bit different, you've got to be a little bit bold, you've got to be a little bit crazy.”

“Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.”

“Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?”

“Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.”

“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”

“Frank Sinatra was the best - my mentor.”

“The big thing is to make them laugh. That's my job.”

“When you're a comedian, you're always looking for material, so you're always observing.”

“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”

“If I don't have a target, I'm nothing.”

“Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!”

“I never had a bad audience.”

“I have to have a target. I'm not a storyteller. I'm a target-oriented comedian.”

“An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, myself included.”

“Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.”

“You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.”