Eric Morecambe

“What do you think of it so far? Rubbish!”

“I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.”

“He's the one with the short, fat, hairy legs.”

“There's no answer to that!”

“Get out of that!”

“You can't see the join.”

“Now listen, sunshine...”

“Tea, Ern?”

“Boom-oo-yata-ta-ta!”

“I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas. But is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.”

“This boy's a fool.”

“Arsenal!”

“Pardon?”

“I'll give you that.”

“Just for that, the shorts will be worn.”

“They did a survey and 70 per cent of men said that they preferred a big bust. The remaining 30 per cent said they preferred the other man's.”

“I am not going to get on my knees, I have got a new suit on.”