John Cleese

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”

“And now for something completely different.”

“It's... just a flesh wound.”

“A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.”

“I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats.”

“If I can make you laugh, I can make you listen.”

“What's the point of being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes?”

“Nothing will stop you being creative so effectively as the fear of making a mistake.”

“This is an ex-parrot!”

“Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.”

“Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.”

“If you want to be creative, you have to be prepared to fail.”

“Stupid people have no idea how stupid they are.”

“If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?”

“It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.”

“He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!”

“We are all individuals!”

“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.”