Lynn Lavner

“I’ve always been out. I was out when I was in.”

“Heterosexuality is not a perversion... it's just a phase some of my best friends are going through.”

“We're not trying to convert people; we're just trying to get a date.”

“I’m not a political comedian. I’m a comedian who is political.”

“My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.”

“I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, 'I'm a Jewish lesbian from Brooklyn.' I'm trying to get a ticket.”

“I call my Congressman and say, 'I'm a lesbian and I'm a taxpayer.' I want my civil rights, but I want my money back first.”

“If you’re a lesbian, you can go a whole week without shaving your legs. You can go a whole week without changing your sheets. You just can’t do them both in the same week.”