Garry Shandling

“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do my homework.”

“What I've learned is that it's okay to be flawed, that's what makes us human.”

“I'm not a political comedian. I'm a 'what is the soul?' comedian.”

“The world is a wheel. You get on, you go to the end, you get off.”

“I think of myself as a writer who happens to be a comedian.”

“The secret of life is to have a secret.”

“I'm not a 'celebrity.' I'm a person who's done a TV show. I'm a comedian.”

“I have a face that is a cross between a pug and a Cabbage Patch Kid.”

“The Larry Sanders Show was about the dark side of show business.”

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.”

“Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.”

“The world is a tuxedo and I am a pair of brown shoes.”

“The secret of life is to have a secret.”

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

“I'm not a real person. I'm a television persona.”

“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

“I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of shampoo bottles. And when I'm not doing that, I pour it on my head.”

“I once made a woman scream in bed. I accidentally lit the comforter on fire.”

“Sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.”

“Interested in finding a soulmate, but not interested in a single person.”